How to stay celibate

Read these and weep.
Tom Wolfe won; but the Babu notes that the subcontinent is splendidly represented. Two authors from this part of the world, Siddharth Dhanvant Shanghvi and Nadeem Aslam, were also longlisted; Gregory Roberts' Shantaram, set in Bombay, offered (heh heh) stiff competition; and Will Self's entry contains a reference to a character called Shiva who notices truly disgusting details with "lofty, Brahminical pity".
Wolfe had to work hard to beat them, but he managed effortlessly:
"Slither slither slither slither went the tongue, but the hand that was what she tried to concentrate on, the hand, since it has the entire terrain of her torso to explore and not just the otorhinolaryngological caverns - oh God, it was not just at the border where the flesh of the breast joins the pectoral sheath of the chest - no, the hand was cupping her entire right - Now! She must say "No, Hoyt" and talk to him like a dog..."