Getcha Gmail here (sigh)

If you want a Gmail account, you don't have to do this or this or this. I have six more to give away. Since it feels like I've already dumped about fifty of these mothers on family, friends and an unsuspecting world, I'm taking it that the Gmail craze is over. All the same, if you'd like one, follow these simple rules:

1) Write to me at hurreeATgmailDOTcom, or post your request in the Comments section; please include an email ID, since Blogger comments don't automatically record or display your email ID.

2) Do not spam my blog, post ads on my blog, or send me links to dirty pictures. None of these will get you a Gmail account; all of these will get you a lot of grief, unless you're sending me cat porn. (That was a joke. Do not send me cat porn unless you want me to respond by mashing your face into used cat litter, of which I have plenty.)

3) The last time I did this, there were more hopefuls than Gmail invites available. If there are too many claimants, I'm going to give the last two Gmail accounts to whoever writes The Best First Line For A Novel Which Contains The Terms Gmail and Cat Porn. (Alternatively, The Best First Line For A Novel Which Contains The Terms Gmail and Used Cat Litter.) Extra points to anyone who can parody an already famous first line, such as: "Mother died today, but I was too busy sending cat porn to strangers I couldn't care less about from my new and unwanted Gmail account to notice."