My neighbour already has a Golden Gate

Shashi Tharoor demonstrates, in this extract from Bookless in Baghdad, how successful branding really works:

Indian writers are lately beginning to receive almost as much attention as their Western counterparts. Even if literary product-licensing is still an unknown art in India, it is surely not too early to consider the possibilities of paying commercial homage to our literary venerables. A Mulk Raj Anand Coolie badge, for instance, might be just the thing to accessorise the latest Bina Ramani blouse. Or perhaps the Cottage Industries Emporium might honour Kamala Markandeya by actually selling nectar in a sieve? Equally up their street could be the Raja Rao Serpent and Rope set, in leather and coir, perhaps, or an Anita Desai crying peacock, tastefully done in brass.

And we could always sell a small idol guaranteed to answer the prayers of men challenged in the size department; just call him the God of small things.